


we started crumbling

by explodinganyway



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Angst, F/F, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodinganyway/pseuds/explodinganyway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This family needs Emily Lake and the only problem in that equation is that Myka needs you too. Myka needs you to be brilliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we started crumbling

**Author's Note:**

> and again, I am doing this to myself. I wanted to write another Myka piece because I am angry at Helena but then this happened, and I started to feel so sad for her. SO this is somewhat a companion piece to 'sense of searching' but only lightly.

_-_

_You're speaking a dead, dead language_  
 _You don't sound like yourself_  
 _I hope it's just lost in translation_  
 _So why don't you show, don't try to tell_

_-_

_-_

You’re not sure when you became complacent. You don’t feel like it’s you; the woman who almost destroyed the world doesn’t fit into your skin any more. You feel stretched, cramped inside your own body. You understand the _attraction_ to this family, the alone father and his beautiful and so so young daughter. They needed you, they needed just you- Helena Wells, not HG with your history of being outspoken and rash and brilliant and devastating. They just needed you to care, and you felt you might actually be able to do that. And you can, gosh you can so well that you almost convinced yourself of how happy you were but, then

Myka.

-

This family needs Emily Lake; Emily who has lost someone and is a little damaged but able to care so well. The only problem in that equation is that Myka needs you too. Not Emily Lake, not just a mother or someone to go to work and come home at the same time every day and

Myka needs you to be brilliant.

You don’t think you know how to be brilliant anymore. You can care and you can smile at criminals because you’re glad you’re not like them anymore, and you can make the perfect bowl of porridge and you are so good at showing up to Adelaide’s martial arts demonstrations.

But brilliant? You haven’t picked a pen up in years and your tesla feels strange in your hands.

-

It’s like your body doesn’t match up.

It’s like a first year anatomy student tried to put you back together after it all and just couldn’t match it all up right. It’s like your hands are on the wrong wrists or

maybe they aren’t yours at all.

-

Your skin calls out for Myka’s touch when she’s there. Your skin needs her touch, her presence, her warmth but

you are just Emily now. You don’t invent brilliant things or write brilliant worlds or save brilliant people from brilliant things. And Myka? Myka needs you completely, brilliance and all.

You wish it was as simple as you leaving it in your old clothes. You wish you could pull it out of somewhere like you do your hidden tesla. You wish you could be what she needs you, what she wants you to be, for her. You just don’t know how to anymore.

-

-

You can make a packed lunch, you can pick Adelaide up from school, you can catch criminals using only science, you can sleep in the same bed each night but,

-

-

you can’t be brilliant.

-

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics from Speaking a Dead Language by Joy Williams


End file.
